She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize