Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
