Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
