Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
