If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
it's like heaven, but drunker
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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