dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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