Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
