Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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