Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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