why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
