umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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