We won't sleep together?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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