wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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