i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
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An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
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So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.