Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty

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  (914): i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty http://tfl.nu/qv38
  Replies (17) Good night (1068) Bad night (2331)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes

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  (717): apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes http://tfl.nu/cx0j
  Replies (6) Good night (516) Bad night (2646)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."

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  (248): Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth." http://tfl.nu/c9w9
  Replies (15) Good night (7687) Bad night (708)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it

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  (651): This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it http://tfl.nu/dpvg
  Replies (19) Good night (3899) Bad night (1185)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.

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  (405): I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible. http://tfl.nu/59e7
  Replies (19) Good night (811) Bad night (3631)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.

  (419): View more from Ohio

  you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.

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  (740): new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner. (419): you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio. http://tfl.nu/k9v1
  Replies (27) Good night (4319) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night

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  (815): I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night http://tfl.nu/p9mu
  Replies (5) Good night (1104) Bad night (2354)
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  (347): View more from New York

  The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09

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  (347): The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09 http://tfl.nu/7ioy
  Replies (3) Good night (846) Bad night (4218)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.

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  (701): She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv. http://tfl.nu/rbou
  Replies (8) Good night (1789) Bad night (581)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..

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  (609): I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex.. http://tfl.nu/qolf
  Replies (5) Good night (1514) Bad night (672)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back

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  (908): Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back http://tfl.nu/mdgi
  Replies (4) Good night (1544) Bad night (451)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Love me.

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just for one nugget?

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  (508): Love me. (781): GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS. (508): Just for one nugget? http://tfl.nu/9y03
  Replies (6) Good night (2714) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets

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  (845): There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets http://tfl.nu/ibjg
  Replies (6) Good night (600) Bad night (312)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf

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  (253): Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf http://tfl.nu/ir0h
  Replies (2) Good night (569) Bad night (181)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life

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  (219): I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life http://tfl.nu/kbbl
  Replies (4) Good night (325) Bad night (198)

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