That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico