Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?

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  (504): why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats? http://tfl.nu/kev5
  Replies (114) Good night (1259) Bad night (3975)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.

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  (727): he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper. http://tfl.nu/jd33
  Replies (39) Good night (5650) Bad night (1078)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him

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  (732): His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him http://tfl.nu/bx2z
  Replies (8) Good night (977) Bad night (4040)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole

  (1-613): View more from Ontario

  im not talking about this

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  (613): it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole (1-613): im not talking about this http://tfl.nu/ufkd
  Replies (10) Good night (1093) Bad night (3654)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.

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  (604): the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/g0q9
  Replies (2) Good night (2779) Bad night (836)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.

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  (206): In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds. http://tfl.nu/g8w5
  Replies (7) Good night (1035) Bad night (2704)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?

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  (603): just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why? http://tfl.nu/6teb
  Replies (6) Good night (2282) Bad night (789)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.

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  (347): Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year. http://tfl.nu/t2q4
  Replies (5) Good night (1821) Bad night (1211)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me

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  (732): I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me http://tfl.nu/pe15
  Replies (7) Good night (967) Bad night (2046)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.

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  (503): Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them. http://tfl.nu/c1rb
  Replies (12) Good night (1392) Bad night (618)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.

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  (407): While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead. http://tfl.nu/hup2
  Replies (3) Good night (1255) Bad night (636)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.

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  (845): I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent. http://tfl.nu/v6g7
  Replies (9) Good night (497) Bad night (769)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.

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  (620): So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive. http://tfl.nu/y5fy
  Replies (8) Good night (671) Bad night (1938)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.

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  (613): I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that. http://tfl.nu/ketf
  Replies (10) Good night (2617) Bad night (560)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick

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  (216): Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick http://tfl.nu/45q6
  Replies (3) Good night (527) Bad night (413)

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