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i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
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