I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
