Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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