She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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