his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i think my cat just said my name.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
My feet surprised me
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
