is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
