Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
