i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
