This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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