I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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