I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
