Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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