So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
