You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
