My friends, they love my intelligence
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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