Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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