i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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