i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
