When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
