I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
