Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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