nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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