I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize