There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
