I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
