P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize