I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
