the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize