Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
