Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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