genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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