Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Nobody cheats on THIS.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
