I bet he comes in French.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
