Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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