Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
