k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
