dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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