They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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