YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
