dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
