So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize