just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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