Fine. I'll sleep in my office
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
