let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
