OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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