So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you traded sex for a burrito?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
