I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
