i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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