It's Friday. Sex?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
