i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
