There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
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His hands were made for my vagina.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
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I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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