WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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