I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
