if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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