id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
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I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
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He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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