I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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