TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
