I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
