Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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