I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize