I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
