Duck Duck Cougar?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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