can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
she told me i tasted like america
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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